In one of my documentary classes here in Korea, taught by a renowned documentarian, I went through one of those awkward experiences. If you are a minority in any way, any where on this planet, you know what I mean.
I have felt this in the past, and to be honest I thought I was over really feeling like the minority a long time ago, since I had been the minority almost everywhere I have been/lived in my life. I'm Nigerian-American, so a minority in the greater African-American community and in Nigeria and the United States - pretty much the majority of circles anywhere on the globe. Today it was made the most apparent ever in my life.
The documentary we watch was Marlon Riggs "Tongues Untied," a film about the experience of the gay African-American male. Not only am I the only black male in this class, but I am also the only black male in this school. And, of course, every single person in this class was staring at me, looking for answers. And I was not about to be the token.
The situation was so awkward I couldn't even focus on/enjoy the documentary. A part from the film containing extremely graphic imagery (which I am sure made EVERYONE feel awkward) and there were several racial slurs used that I am unsure if the majority of the class understood the implications of these words. The teacher asked me how I felt about the documentary, and me being the person I am, explained exactly how I felt - awkward. I told him I felt the stares from others in the class and I truly felt like a minority and I hoping that no one asks me questions today. Overall, I couldn't enjoy or learn from it like I would like to. And, yes, I said this in front of the class because I think it was important for them all to know.
I think living in a homogeneous society, Koreans maybe don't fully understand what it feels like to be a minority unless they have traveled/studied abroad, which made it important for me to state my feelings. I also think it is even harder to understand how it is to feel like a minority every day of your life. Of course, like I try to see every experience, maybe this extreme sense of awkwardness is a blessing. Maybe I could use the misunderstanding of otherness as an angle to my work. Maybe even the main angle. Maybe the story I tell could be more inside looking out than outside looking in, utilizing the theme of otherness.
Even though this experience might not be enjoyable for some, in fact many, this experience was again interesting and made me learn more about myself and my self-value - another reason why I think it is important for us all to travel abroad and take ourselves out of our comfort zone. This situation was extremely uncomfortable for me and I would prefer it would not happen again, but I learned from it, which makes the situation invaluable. If it were to happen again, maybe I'll be more comfortable, but like I said, I hope it doesn't.
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